I didn’t say it

I read an obituary for a woman who thought it was okay to say vicious things if you were creative and funny. I was like that when I was a teenager, but I grew up. Cue the Rolling Stones: Don’t you think it’s sometimes wise not to grow up? What if …

I was in a meeting at work. The new boss shared something to make him seem human. [It was an act.] He told the group he had been born to a young unmarried mom. That was really touching. I was halfway out of my seat, ready to fire: I knew right away you were a son of a bitch, and now it turns out you’re a bastard too.

I didn’t say it. I got fired six weeks later anyway.