24 Power Hits by the Original Stars

I can count at least five lies in that title. It is one of the worst records I ever bought. I hurried through a used record store in Toronto recently and saw this had at least a few good songs and cost $2. The sticker the store put on the record was cute: Random Compilation Record. Something more accurate: Lots of schlock. ‘Elenore’ by the Turtles is great—the lyrics rhyme ‘pride and joy, etcetra’ with ‘tell me that you love me betta.’ I’ve read that the Turtles meant to mock the smooth love songs they’d done such as ‘Happy Together.’ Even their put-ons were good pop music. ‘Crimson and Clover’ by Tommy James and the Shondells is okay—I was 16 when it came out, it’s about sex, and there’s plenty of wah-wah pedal. I heard ‘Quick Joey Small’ once on Bandstand and thought it was catchy. I was wrong. The other stuff I never need to hear again.